Me: "Eski ou compran?" Do you understand?
Other: "Wi, mwen compran..." Yes I understand...
Conversation concludes and I turn to leave
Other (under breath): "Men, mwen pa renmen li." But, I don't like it.
Although the conversation was brief, and there are no hard feelings between myself and the other party, those final mumbled words have played over and over in my head.
But, I don't like it...
How often in the quietness of my heart do I say, "Yes, I understand..." to my Lord, and then gently whisper, "But, I don't like it..."
What does it do to the heart of our Lord when He pours blessing after blessing in our lives, and our response is a simple..."Yes, I see what you are doing...but, I don't like it."
Oh how ugly my prideful heart can be. I can look and see the goodness of the Lord all around and even in the midst of it all, find myself discontent whispering quietly..."But, I don't like it."
I know there are many areas in my life I am missing the goodness and blessing of my Lord because it does not quite follow suite with what I think "I would really like..."
Matthew 7 and Luke 11 are clear reminders that our Father knows how to give good gifts to His children.
James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
Not only is my Father the giver of good and perfect gifts, He will ALWAYS be.
Have you ever seen a child at their birthday party tear into a gift, only to look up and say, "But, I really wanted ________."
What does this response do to the heart of the giver of that good gift?!
How prideful I am when I secretly say, "But, God...I really wanted it to be like this..."
James 4:6, "...God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
Francis Chan's wife recently spoke about James 4:6 and took time to describe the term "Oppose." Did you know, it means to actively fight against something? My heavenly father is actively against the proud...
All of my "I don't like it..." moments are ultimately a result of pride.
Please do not misunderstand, our Father knows our thoughts before we think them. It is before Him and Him alone I can bare all of me...my likes and my dislikes. I am His child, covered in the blood of His son, and it is in that, I am able to stand confidently.
However, when He opens my eyes to see my prideful heart and my "I don't like it's..." my prayer needs to become, "Lord help me humble my heart..."
It is then with a humble heart His grace is unleashed. His mercies are new and He is actively ready to change my perspectives.
When tempted to put down the gift and say, "But, I don't like it..." may we recognize our Father, the giver of all good and perfect gifts and humble ourselves to follow His plan.
Lord help me to say, "Yes, I understand..." and leave the rest up to you.